"Interview With A Vampire....Slayer" PART V, the FINALE

As the demons approached I was able to get it together enough to remember something that happened to me last fall. CWAL had taken a beating by Blizzard under Sephroth's leadership but it wasn't until the end of that fight that I got really close to Sephroth that I felt the Rush kick in. Now, to the best of my knowledge, Sephroth isn't dead. He's a living-breathing guy (although badly in need of a haircut) who's been taken by a demon. Yet, he caused me to Rush. That means my adversary doesn't necessarily need to be undead evil to cause the Rush. If he's evil enough, he could be living or dead and we'd be up to the challenge.

Smiling at Abadon as I backed away from his angry demons and took comfort in knowing that Abadon was evil enough to get the job done, but that it would take time. When Sephroth was sieging the CWAL Starbucks, it took a while for the Rush to kick in. We just needed to hold out a few minutes longer.

FWOOSH! An anxious demon belched forth a fireball that struck Guhval squarely in the chest plate and knocked him to the ground. Bravely he got back up. FOOSH! Two more fireballs flew over our heads as we barely ducked out of the way. Without our speed, we were lucky those fireballs didn't decapitate us.

"Everyone with projectile weapons ready yourselves to fire!" order CABAL as he jumped out of the way of another sizzling blob of plasma.

I pulled a small crossbow out of my backpack. It was a small bolt pistol that I had for occasions such as these with five silver arrows attached to it. Karvalle charged up her staff while Fjorxc cocked his pistol and Lothos wielded his Staff. Buffal looked like he was ready to throw his spear at the group.

"We're ready," said Gavin as he knocked an arrow to his bow. "Aim for the big one up front." They were getting closer and we wouldn't have much more room to back up to. It was now or never.

"Lothos..." said Fjorxc.


"I'm sorry about the time I poured Tobasco in your underwear drawer."

"That's okay, Forks. Remember when somebody copied Sugar Ray songs over your Alpha Centauri CD?"

Fjorxc nodded.

"Need I say more?" Lothos grinned evilly as he aimed his staff at the oncoming demon hoard.

"FIRE!" Cried CABAL as everyone poured it on the largest creature at the front of the demon line. Fjorxc took his new-found anger out on the creatures chest, unloading and entire clip of bullets into the creature. After my silver arrow pierced its heart, three holy bolts hit it in the head, and Lothos drained its remaining life force, the creature swayed back and forth as its eyes rolled back and it collapsed to the ground, disappearing in a red haze as it returned to the hell from whence it came.

The slayers and CWALers cheered as the demons looked at their fallen comrade, then back at their enemies, teeth gnashing and growls rumbling.

"Uh-oh...I think we pissed the evil thingies from Heck off..." I cried while wondering what was taking the Rush so long.

"ENOUGH!" cried a voice from the surrounding woods. "GET THEM!" The demons charged like a stampeding herd of cattle.

Sofielisk looked behind her and saw nothing but thick, unpassable woods. Seeing no other alternative she burrowed into the ground as a large hoofed minotaur-looking creature stamped over her, hot on the heels of Gabrina.

As the first demon reached the party, Guhval attempted to parry the blow of the creature with his sword. The shear force of the creatures blow knocked his sword out of the way and backhanded the knight squarely in the chest nearly throwing him into Lothos.

"Retreat!" Cried CABAL as he dashed off into the woods. I followed closely yelling to him about how we weren't built to face this kind of enemy. "It's a little late for that now! We'll be lucky to get out of here in one piece!" I glanced back and noticed none of the demons had followed me. The group must have run in a different direction from where we headed because none of our friends were behind us either.

"Wait!" I cried to CABAL as we stopped sprinting in a small clearing. "They're not following us!"

"Why would the demons not give chase?" asked CABAL. "I thought it's us that Abadon and that doppleganger of yours wanted?"

"WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY I'M GOING TO DESTROY YOU MYSELF," came the echo from the woods as an eery red light appeared from all directions.

"Show yourself, demon!" cried CABAL as he drew his warhammer and turned in every direction looking for Abadon.

"Where is he!?" I asked.


Neither of us thought to look up as a gelatinous blob descended from the trees. By the time we noticed the thing it was too late. We were suddenly encased in some sort of cold liquid that looked like a blob of mercury.

"Get it off! What is this stuff?! EVAAL!" I cried struggling against the goop.

"Exactly...." said Abadon as he released us and molded back into a more familiar form directly in front of us. "That's Abadon one, slayers nothing. Care to try and take me again?" The menacing demon cackled with glee as we just looked at each other in horror and then charged in Abadon's direction.

The demon was unarmed and I wondered how it was that he could defend himself. My worst guess came true. The bastard was a shape shifter, just like the T-2000 in Terminator. As soon as we struck out at Abadon, his arms changed into blades and parried our blows. CABAL would swing at Abadon's ribs, but a piece of the demon's arm would drop into the shape of a buckler and stop it. I would drive a stake towards his gall bladder, but another blade would appear and deflect both me and my weapon to the ground with the momentum I had used.

CABAL tried a second blow, going for Abadon's head, but the creatures leg sprung forth a metallic tendril that tripped the slayer to the ground. I jumped to my feet and lashed my whip out at Abadon's neck, but it just passed right through him as though I was attacking a bowl of pudding.

"Abadon two, slayers zero. Shall we play to a game of five, mortals?" laughed the Lord of Hate. CABAL and I looked at each other and got up to attack Abadon again. The Rush still hadn't come. We were so screwed. "Your friends are overwhelmed. The slayers will be no more in minutes. The Outlanders are all captured, their knowledge of advanced worlds mine for the taking. It's all in your hands, slayers. Why don't you attack me? End this madness! Remove the scourge of Abadon from this wretched world!"

"You mock us," yelled CABAL. His anger was getting the best of him. "But every evil has its weakness! Together, GAVAL!"

We struck at the demon together, each aiming for a different spot on Abadon's body. He jumped back, our weapons just missing him. His speed was simply unrivaled. It was like attacking the Flash. Then the demon dug his arm into the ground, sending flat spikes out under our feet. As CABAL jumped out of the way, I felt a metal spike tear through the sole of my boot, and a pain run up through the side of my foot. I managed to roll out before the spike could catch the middle of my foot.

"Don't you see? You can't win! You're outmatched several times over! If you don't start providing me with some sport here, mortals, I might just have to provide a finale for this little tale earlier than I had planned."

As Abadon sneered his taunts at me, CABAL jumped up behind him and slammed his hammer into Abadon's shoulder plate. The plate cracked under the weight of the blow and the demon staggered back, holding his shoulder and frowning angrily.

"Enough play. It's time to go to work," said the demon as the cracks in his armor slowly healed themselves up. A ball of fire formed in his hand and he sent it hurling at CABAL. It struck the blacksmith in the chest and I watched this living legend of mine collapse to the ground, limp and lifeless. Then the demon turned to me, the crackle of arcane magic escaping from his eyes as he summoned another ball of death to finish me. I could hear the screaming of my friends in the woods now as I saw the fireball close in. It was heading right for my face now. They say these stories always end happily, but this wasn't a happy ending at all. All the things I had faced in my lifetime, all the evil I had befallen, and I was to go out on some lame backwards world where pain ruled and where no one knew me...A place where I would never go remembered.

As I clenched my teeth, I felt the heat of the fireball make its impact. Instinctively I covered my face with my arms, hoping to shield myself from the approaching death.








As I gave myself up to the Divinity and hoped that somebody would take down Abadon in our place, I felt the pain begin to subside. For some reason this fireball made me feel as though I had just been kicked where the sun doesn't shine. I couldn't breath and there was a thick ache from my crotch all the way up to my throat. I slowly opened my eyes and saw the flames from Abadon's fireball dancing about in every direction around me. Still, the pain subsided. Something was different about the flames. They were blue....cobalt blue!

The flames slowly cleared from my vision and I could see Abadon walking away as though his work was done. I stood up and looked at my jacket. I was on fire in a blue flame that wasn't warm at all. The Rush had arrived. Timing like this couldn't have been coincidental. This was Divine influence....and just in time!

"Leaving so soon, Abs?" I sneered as I cracked my knuckles.


As the pile of demons struggled at Gavin's limbs, each hoping to pull off an appendage to take home as a souvenir or perhaps for dinner, a white hot glow emerged from the dense grouping of demons.

Other piles of demons struggled at their dead or near dead victims all around the area. One pile lit up from withing in royal purple. Another in red-hot magenta. Another in a bright teal hue. Suddenly the demons flew off of a tangerine-colored luminance. "GET OFF OF SAXAL, INSIGNIFICANT HELLSPAWN!" cried the Ogre. His face was cut and bruised, and a sword was pertruding from his stomach, but it didn't seemed to slow him down in the least.

"YYYEEEEAAARRRRRRRR!!!" cried another slayer as she jumped up, arms raised in a "V". Lothos froze in his tracks. As Gabrina rose, her power reaching its zenith, the wail she released sounded just like the Academy in Starcraft.

"That's the stuff..." Lothos grinned as he glanced at Fjorxc who had just shot a lizard-looking demon in the eye.

"And remember the time someone put a bottle of decaffeinated instant coffee in your Christmas stocking? That was me..." Fjorxc continued.

"Oh yeah!" cried Lothos as he unleashed a bolt of energy at the lizard-demon to finish it off. "Well, remember the time someone stuffed a banana into the Orca's tailpipe! That's all me, pal!"

Guhval's anger was at its apex. With every blow he disabled a foe of his with his bare hands. One punch broke a demon's neck. The other crushed an enemy's ribcage. A third snapped a hellspawn's leg at the knee. As his anger grew, so did his power. Tearing off his armor as if it were paper and bearing his upper body, the enraged slayer screamed at his former captors. "Is that the best you can do?! COME ON!"

Karvalle didn't need magic anymore. Not in this fight. She had never felt so powerful. Rushing towards her enemies, she drew her staff up parallel with the horizon and clotheslined three demons who could only try to attack, but miss futilely. She was just too fast. As she caught them in the necks with her staff she slammed the thing into the ground burying the heads of the demons as well as her hands into the dirt of the Kanduran forest clean up to her elbows. "Go to HELL!" was all she could say as she pushed harder and harder into the ground.

Buffal drove his spear into a tree, 2 demons impaled upon it. As he turned to see 4 other's approaching him, drool spilling into the flattened grass, soiling it's purity, he flipped the spear towards them, throwing the impaled demons into the four on comers long enough to distract them so that he could get behind them. The four demons looked up and at the bodies that had been thrown towards them. Where was their target? A large cracking sound answered their question as a 100-year old oak tree came crashing down upon them, Buffal pushing on the other side with all of his peasant might. Only one demon managed to jump out of the way as the other three were crushed violently.

Beneath the rich soil of the forest, Sofielisk listened and waited for her chance. The sounds from above had changed. Demons were no longer snarling and roaring. Now they were screaming and wailing. Feeling the vibrations of large feet approach, she sprung up from her burrow, digging claws deep into the hide of a small demon with huge feet. Flinging the creature off of her sickle claws, Sofie turned around to see at least 10 other demons approaching. Opening up her carapace, she unleashed a volley of glauve worms for them to tangle with as she burrowed back into the soil.


"How?" asked Abadon. "You shouldn't be able..."

"Congratulations. You've proven to have been evil enough to rush a slayer. That's almost unheard of." I sneered, trying not to show how injured I was.

"Your friend LAVAG didn't mention that to me. He is no longer of consequence. I'm going to kill you now, so shut up and die like you mortals are supposed to."

The first blow was his. Abadon sprouted some kind of blunt club from his face and knocked me directly in the nose. I just stood there a took it. Reaching up to my nose, I wiped a drop of blood as it fell down towards my mouth and sneezed. "My turn." I whispered.

I knew his weakness. Abadon was fast, and could become anything that he needed to defend himself, but there was a limit to his speed, and especially to his attention-span. He showed this weakness when CABAL managed to strike Abadon's shoulder plate.

I dashed towards the demon so quickly I thought I might go through him. With a stake in each hand I forced them towards his ribcage. Formidable as ever, Abadon blocked both stakes with his metallic arms as his fingers formed into ten razor sharp blades, but he did step back a bit. No doubt Abadon was taken by the sheer speed that the Rush allowed me. I swing one stake towards his head: blocked. The other towards his stomach: blocked. The first back at his shoulder: blocked. The second towards his left shoulder: blocked. All this in the first second of melee! He then came at me with a spike that reached out of his chest. I managed to dodge it easily by ducking but noticed a second one shoot out of his knee. I leapt up and missed that one as a third spike came out of his left arm. Using it for leverage I actually grabbed the spike and landed on the second spike. Climbing Abadon's body spikes like monkeybars I went over and around to his back where I shoved a stake towards his spine.

In a nanosecond the demon actually switched his front and back sides. His face popped out of the back of his head and his armed bent backwards, forming itself again into a buckler which blocked my blow once again. We couldn't touch each other. I needed a second slayer just to slow this guy down. That second slayer showed up just in time as CABAL, still smoking from Abadon's last fireball, fell from the trees slamming his hammer into the demon's head: blocked! This thing was amazing. We'd really have to buckle down to stop him. Reveling in the fact that CABAL wasn't dead (probably saved by the Rush as well) we both jumped into the fight without saying a word. There was no concentration left for clever battle-banter. This was mortal combat.

Arms flying in a blur of violent attacks we launched an assault at Abadon simultaneously. This time things went differently. About each sixth or seventh blow landed on it's mark as Abadon was overwhelmed in speed and targets to block. A stake to the chest, a hammer to the arm, a kick to the knee, and slowly he began to back off from us. There was no time for the demon to mount a counter- attack. We didn't let up. I could see CABAL wincing as his broken arm pulled at his ambition to slay this demon, but he wouldn't slow down. Slowly we wore down at him until finally, after blocking seven of my blows in a row, he tried to send a three-foot-long razor-sharp knife at my throat. I dodged to the right and grabbed at the blade, bringing the flat end of it down to my leg and snapping the evil expansion clean off of Abadon's body.

Silver gore flowed from the demon's body as he leapt back in rage, clear of our attack range. As CABAL and I slowly walked towards Abadon, our eyes glowing in pulses of divine light, he looked around for a means of escape, then directly up. Without a word, Abadon leapt up into the trees and in a blur headed south towards the thicker woods.


"YOU WILL HELP ME!" shouted Abadon to LAVAG as he arrived on the scene a few feet away where LAVAG was keeping watch of Rachal. "KEEP THE SLAYERS AT BAY WHILE I SUMMON THE BULK OF MY ARMY TO OVERWHELM THEM." The evil slayer LAVAG's eyes glowed in a crimson hue as the Rush had taken him as well.

"You tried to kill my brother. I asked you to save him for me." sneered LAVAG as he tossed Rachal to the side to face Abadon.


"evaaalll!!!!" came a roar from the woods as the slayers approached. The demons had fallen.


"No," said LAVAG as he turned the safety off of his pistol and cocked it. Abadon glared at him as though he were ready to kill the slayer. "You can't fight them. If you win you'll lose more of your army than it's worth to rid yourself of these slayers."


Three demons burst into the clearing, each injured in various ways. Pulling a spear out of his left buttock, Yggdrassill folded his wings and glared at his Lord Abadon. "They're fighting like madmen. Right behind us...."

Abadon gave LAVAG one final do or die look at the evil slayer smiled and holstered his pistol. "Banish them."

"Banish them?"

"Yes. I've seen your magic. Banish them from this plane. The slayers aren't magical creatures. If you banish them magically, they have no way of returning to bother us." Folding his arms proudly, LAVAG awaited Abadon's approval as he glanced at Rachal who was giving him that "if looks could kill" glare that women do so well.

"I know exactly where to send them," growled Abadon as he turned to face the oncoming screams of angry slayers.

As the demon waved his arms in the air and chanted in ancient and archaic tongues, a large tree toppled as Saxal's ax went right through it. "EVAAAALLLL!!!" screamed the slayers as they burst into the clearing led by CABAL and GAVAL.

"...and the time that you TV got stuck on the `Teeny-Bop' channel during a Hanson live concert marathon? That was me," smiled Fjorxc to Lothos in satisfaction. Lothos' eyes grew wide as he lunged to strangle the maniacal pilot.

"Bastard!" cried Lothos.

"BASTARD!" cried CABAL as he pointed his hammer at Abadon. "We have you cornered, demon. There's no where to run. Your reign of terror in Kanduras ends NOW! What I do today I do for my nephew, for Gamble and for everyone you've ever hurt!"

"Touching," sneered Abadon in sarcastic contempt, "but you're just too late. Goodbye, slayer's. I'd say it's been fun, but actually you've all been royal's pains in the ass......RECTUS DOMINUS!" with those final words, the incantation was complete and a huge blue vortex opened up between the slayers and Abadon's remaining forces.

"sliders..." whispered Fjorxc as Lothos paused in strangling him long enough to notice what was happening.


The winds picked up....just like they had done in the Laundromat 5 days prior. We all suddenly jerked where we stood as the winds pulled us towards the vortex. Sofielisk was the first to lose her footing as she tumbled through the air and into the portal screaming curses in Middle English about Abadon's mother. All I could think about was that if we didn't act now we'd miss our chance to stop Abadon.....but it was too late. I felt myself fall to the ground as Abadon's magic pulled me towards the portal. The force was irresistable. I grabbed onto the ground and dug my hands in, but the entire portion of the soil that I was clinging to came unattached and I flew towards the vortex. I saw the big slayer ogre grab onto a tree to try and anchor himself, but the entire tree uprooted and flew towards the portal with him clinging to it.


LAVAG stood, arms crossed, and watched as Rachal got sucked into the portal of banishment with the other slayers and outlanders. Just as he was going to give an "I told you so" look to Abadon, he felt an invisible force tugging at him.

"What...what are you doing, Abadon?!"

The demon just smiled and laughed. "Have a nice trip, mortal."

"NOOO! I helped you! We are a team! Damn you! I saved your ass!"

"And I banished yours. Sounds fair to me. Take care, Lavag!" The demon waved as Lavag succumbed to the unbeatable force of the banishment spell and disappeared in a flash.

All was quiet in the forest as the remaining demons licked their wounds. Clenching his rubs, Abadon looked towards Yggdrasill and frowned in disapproval. "Home, demon. To Dorado. This...distraction has deterred me long enough from my plans. There's little to stand in my way now that I've beaten a God's intervention."

With that, the Lord of Hate, the Metal Demon, Abadon, was gone.


In the portal GAVAL the Vampire Slayer was dazzled by thousand of tubular passage ways that led from one world to the next. The first thing he noticed was CABAL, who was right ahead of him, getting sucked into a tube that U-turned back the way he had come. Completely at the mercy of this strange form of travel, all he could do was watch the Slayer Prime known as CABAL leave his reach helplessly. Then he looked ahead as he saw the end of the tube he was in, with Sofielisk just leaving the portal on the other side. Glancing behind him, GAVAL witnessed the surviving other slayers getting whisked away into yet another colorful tube that headed off in the same general direction as he was headed, with Lothos, Fjorxc, and Rachal right behind them.

------ ------


(Kanduras woods, halfway between Tristram and Dorado near a river.)

(Exile is tied to a tree upside down with a magical lasso conjured by Karvalle.)

Exile: Hello?! ANYONE?! HEEELP! D'oh...if I get my hands on those slayers I'll have their SOULS! HELP! Dammit....I've got to get down from here...

(Exile notices a fat caterpillar crawling along a leaf.)

Exile: Oh..HEY! Here, bug! Come on, little larvae! Just a little closer!

(The caterpillar moves painstakingly slow towards Exile until it finally crawls into his arm. Instantly the creature's life force is absorbed as Exile takes the form of the helpless creature. Falling to the grass below, Exile begins the long crawl back to Dorado as he is stuck in the form of his victim for the next two weeks.)

Exile: (In caterpillarese) This is completely humiliating. I crave leaves instead of souls. CABAL will pay.

(A small, cute bird lands near Exile and starts looking for something to peck on.)

Exile: Eeep!


(CWAL Prime 1095 A.D.)

(Clermont, France)

(An assembly of the Great Council of clergy and feudalistic knights has gathered to discuss the conquest of Jerusalem by Moslem invaders some 20 years prior.)

Pope Urban II: And so, my fellow christians, It is the will of this church that we take up arms against yon heathens who soilith the holy land of Jerusalem! Knights and clergy: Yay!!!

PUII: ...and so, my fellow christians, let us pray the the lord giveth us a sign that might aid us in our quest against the heretics who hath stolen our holy land!

(A huge rift opens up above the alter. A gigantic ogre, a woman in robes, a monk, a knight in half a suit of plate mail, a peasant, and a woman in farm clothing all drop onto the floor. They are battered and bruised, but otherwise okay.)

Knights and clergy: (Look down upon the battered warriors, then at the pope, then up at the crucifix behind him, wide eyed. They then fall to their knees, saying the "Hail Mary" in latin)

"Coullado Maria, repletus a venia....!"


From an interdimensional highway, as he witnessed the arrival of the slayers in the distant past of the reality that he called home, LAVAG's mind was overwhelmed with fear and grief at what he had just witnessed. It all made since. The legend of CABAL, the slayer Prime...the gathering of nine souls for transformation into weapons of good, divine intervention....how could he have not seen it earlier?! But the worst part was in realizing that it was his own intervention that brought the slayers to CWAL Prime in the first place! "Oh GOD!" thought LAVAG as a moment of brutal clarity hit him. "I've created that which I hate most! In telling Abadon to banish my enemies from Kanduras, I brought the slayers to Earth! I've created the most abhorrent part of my past! I've created GAVAL, my family, the entire slayer lineage! It was supposed to exist in Kanduras....OOOhh GOD! DAAMN YOU ABADON! DAAAAMMNNN YYOOOUUU!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" The slayer continued sobbing and shouting curses until he slammed onto the parking lot of Blizzard HQ back in Irvine California, huddled in the fetal position and mumbling to himself about paradoxes. LAVAG would have a lot to deal with in the coming weeks.



GAVAL sighed and pointed towards the CWAL HQ Starbuck's. "Dat's the place."

"That's the crappiest Starbuck's I've ever seen. It looks like it's been through a war," said Juss Nuse from behind the steering wheel of his Isuzu.

"Prob'ly sev'ral of em," sighed GAVAL as he stepped out of the SUV. The exhausted slayer walked around to the driver's window to say goodbye.

"So that's it?" asked the reporter.

"Not much else ta say, Chause," replied the slayer. "We got back home, right here at Starbuck's wit no problems. Ah had alot to deal wit. I watched the creation of everything I stand for. I learned dat the slayers even existing on dis worl' was a mistake. Da slayers never should have existed here at all if not for our interfering in Kanduras and its affairs. In a way, ah feel responsible for robbing dose poor people on dat miserable world of it's best hope. Ah hope they survive. I hope dey make it dispite Abadon's rule. We have no way of knowing how things will turn out in Kanduras. I have no idea where CABAL wound up wither. I wish dem all da best of luck. If ah'm not mistaken, ah tink you have a story ta write."

MAGGOTT looks out of the door to Starbuck's and screams at GAVAL,"Hey, GAVAL. Get your sad ass in here. We have problems."

(See "CWAL: D2-Day 4" by Maggott)

GAVAL nodded at MAGGOT and then looked back at Nuse. "I'm sure I'll see you soon, Nuse. There's lots of other stories to tell."

Juss Nuse smiled, "I see your accent is returning to something less...cultural. Looks like you've recovered nicely. " As GAVAL grinned and stuck his tongue out, Nuse nodded at the cajun as he put his truck in drive and waved a farewell. "Now...how the hell am I gonna publish all THIS?" he wondered to himself as he turned back onto the highway.


(Kanduras, One week after the banishment of the slayers.)

(A man in brown leather armor trudges east towards Tabula Rasa carrying a hammer and a backpack. His arm is in a sling. As he heads down the road a merchant in a wagon stops by the figure and pulls over.)

Merchant: You look like you're in pretty poor shape to be traveling on foot. Where you headed, stranger?

(Looking up the figure smiled a warm thanks to the generous Merchant)

CABAL: East. I'm looking for the group of heroes rumored to oppose Dorado's forces. You know anything about them?

Merchant: Ha! No one who opposes the City of Gold lives for very long but I'll give you a ride!

CABAL: (climbs in and settles for the long ride.) Thank you. Yours is a good soul. We're gonna need good souls around here in the days to come.

(The wagon pulls off as CABAL lowers his head to get some rest, pulling a hood over his battle-scarred face. He is a man who has for the second time in a week lost everything meaningful in his life, but even that wasn't enough to stop CABAL VAN HELSING, because he was also a man....with a destiny.)


--- ---


Writer/Story: GAVAL(CWAL)

Concept: Blizzard Entertainment, Inc. DarkLight Auric(LAVAG) Sephroth(ABADON) Fearless

Executive Producer, Research, and Nag: ABADON(Sephroth)


Support and inspiration: Auric Leach Phasmus

Ravil JoystickJ

Abadon Bob

Kaboom! Fearless

Friendly:) DarkLight

Editing: DarkLight

Music: Ravil


Pains in the ass: LAVAG and ABADON (Nary a day went by when these guys didn't ask me how the story was coming.)

Pain in the ass, Mark II: KAZZ (Didn't even know I had a story, but kept bugging me to play Warcraft II with him. I still owe him that game.)

Hot chick: Aura

Personal counselor and support: Chause

Musical Inspiration: Ben Folds Five 311 Pink Floyd Foo Fighters Fiona Apple 311 John Williams Gerry Goldsmith 311 Blizzard Entertainment Warcraft II Soundtrack Westwood Entertainment Red Alert Soundtrack

Actual Story Music:

Part I INTRO: "Star Trek VI Theme" Part I -Meet Juss Nuse: "Humans Being" by Van Halen

-GAVAL's Birthday party, CWAL theme: "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure"

-The ASG Package: "Theme from BeetleJuice"

-Arrival at Kanduras: "Phanton of the Opera"

Part II -The Goblin Village: "Wierd Science" theme

-Meet CABAL: "Theme from Flash Gordon" by Queen

-LAVAG's theme: "Theme from Escape from New York"

-The Gathering of Slayers: "Theme from Star Trek II"

Part III -Juss Nuse and Gaval sort it out: "Pink Panther theme"

-Abadon's theme: "Emperor's theme" from Return of the Jedi

-The Undead Army: "Theme from Nightmare before Christmas"

-Slayer's first battle: "WAR" from Rocky IV

Part IV -The wrath of Abadon: "Imperial March" from Empire Strikes Back

-The Slayer's power: "Yoda's Theme" from Empire Strikes Back

-Vampire Attack: "Final Battle" from Return of the Jedi

-Death of 2 slayers: "Who Wants to Live Forever..." by Queen

Part V -LAVAG and Abadon's trap: "Halloween Theme"

-The Rush...Final Battle "Destruction of the Death Star" from Star Wars

-Epilogue "Battlestar Galactica theme"

-Closing credits: "Superman theme"


All usage of said characters should be done in accordance with the way these characters were portrayed in this 75 page monstrosity. Failure to do so will result in immediate staking through a vital organ and lots of harsh tongue scoldings.

The events and characters portrayed in this story are purely fictional no matter how much some of them may resemble or look exactly like you or me. Any similarities of anything read here to real life is strictly coincidental...sorta....

Copyrite Pouchacha Productions, Inc. 1999

This has been a GAVAL story......